Assalamualaikum and good day to everyone.
Actually today is the last day i'm spending time as an internship student in Ibu Pejabat Polis Kontinjen Kelantan. So hey, as i'm freaking bored as always here (got nothing to do) so i'm gonna share with you my opinion and also some knowledge I got here regarding sexual abuse and also rape involving children that is alarming in Malaysia.
According to American Psychological Association website, 'sexual abuse' involving any sexual activity by force, making threats or doing anything sexually towards victim without his/her consent. Usually, perpetrators and victims know each other and this can cause victim to feel shocked, fear or disbelief. in a long term, victim might have anxiety, fear or post-traumatic stress disorder.
Meanwhile rape according to Section 375 of Penal Code, basically rape means any sexual intercourse made to a woman without her consent. However, consent given by a woman below 16 years of age is not counted. Meaning that any sexual intercourse with a woman below 16 would still considered as rape, or in another word, 'statutory rape' whether she consented to it or not. The rationale behind this is that the law regards girl that age as a minor who not able to think thoroughly or nor able to understand nature and consequences of her own act. Therefore, the older guy or mature guy who had sexual intercourse with that girl should have think on behalf of her and also should guide her, not taking advantage on her by having sex. Also, it is pertinent to know that according to the explanation in the said provision, penetration only is sufficient to constitute the
sexual intercourse necessary to the offense of rape.
So the above are the definition of sexual abuse and also rape. Now i'm gonna share my opinion regarding this matter. Most of rape offense and also sexual abuse is done by perpetrators who knows victim. Based on my observation during my practical training in D11 diversion, i can say that most perpetrators include victim's own family members like father, step-father, brother, step-brother, uncle, relatives and also neighbors. These perpetrator taking advantage of victim's immaturity by persuading victims using anything to make victims follow his order like giving chocolate, toys or even pretending to play with victims. Victim who knows nothing usually did not tell anything about that matter to anyone unless being forced to tell after their parents or guardian sensed something strange about victim. Most of victim would not like perpetrators because they hurt them, and also usually victims would refuse to urinate, defecate or bath because that would hurt them even more.
That is why, in this age, guardian should always aware of this issue and frequently checked upon their children especially on their private parts to see is they got hurt anywhere. Also, ask children everyday on what they did today, who they play with to prevent any bad things happened to them. in addition to that, parents must also know that, sexual offences and rape is not just focused on female child alone but also to male child. Like in the recent case i read on Berita Harian online, a male child has been sodomy (liwat) by his own neighbor. His neighbor persuaded him by using wrist watch to make him obey his instruction.
Based on my observation, when rape or any sexual offences happened to a child and that child informed to any of her parent or guardian, usually guardian would not want to believe that if it was done by closed family members usually her own brother or father. Once they refuse to believe, therefore no action was taken towards the perpetrators as if giving him more chances to keep on raping or sexually abuse the child. In most cases, the mother (usually) would even contended that her child made up such stories, and this definitely would damage the victims mentally and physically. Victim would always feel fear, anxiety and also disbelief to his/her own family members.
I have watched one of segment in Oprah Winfrey show where a twin sisters were raped by their own two big brothers since they were 4 years old (if i'm not mistaken) almost every single day. However they did not know those things were wrong even though they admitted that they did feel hurt. As time passed by and they got a bit older, they started to realized that those things are not normally happened to every family members and so they chose to tell that to their father. At first, their father scolded and hit their brothers. However, right after, his father told them to do to him exactly like what they did to their brothers. In another words, now their own father who started to rape them almost every single day. Felt sad about what happened, they told about what had happened to them to their mother. Unfortunately they have been hit and scolded by their mother who refused to believe them. Also, one of the twin said in the show that, few times their mother opened the door and saw they were crying while being raped by their brothers and father however the mother turned her head away and pretended that she did not see that. The twin sisters giving up in telling about that or asking help from anyone including their neighbor who they frequently went to play with. They had giving up in telling or seeking help from anyone and this continued till they reached 17 years old if i'm not mistaken. Where here is the point that they finally have the strength to tell that to the neighbor who chose to report such matter to police station. All of the twin family members have been caught including their mother and has been imprisonment. When Oprah asked if the twin sister still care or love any of their family members, both of them said they hate their family and can never forgive them.
The above story is just one of many cases regarding rape and sexual abuse done by victim's own family members that i know. And what i can say is that, in Kelantan only, the reported cases involving rape and sexual abuse towards children are very high not including cases in whole Malaysia. Also, i believed that out there, still many more victims who just choose keep silent regarding this matter and many more who refused to make a police report. Most of guardian who refused to make a police report usually with the excuse that they do not want to make this issue bigger, do not want to shame their own family members and also wanted to give second chance to the offender to change. Sadly, offender would never changed instead this give them more chance to keep on raping and sexually abuse the innocent child.
Last but not least, since this issue is alarming, therefore i'm hoping that every parents or guardian should be aware of this issue and take it seriously. Check upon the child frequently and if they are suspicious of anything bad had happened to their child, just bring the child to hospital to have a medical check up on their private parts to see whether they have been raped or not. And if confirmed she/he has been rape, PLEASE do not hesitate to report this matter to police station for the child own safety and future. as we know, children's today are tomorrow's leader therefore safeguarding their interest and safety should be put first before anything else.
Sunday 28 August 2016
Being Single or Being in Relationship is Better?
Assalamualaikum and good day to everyone :)
hoping you would be blessed everyday.
Here I'm gonna write on one of most common problem faced by youngsters and also adult nowadays. some people may just say that they do not care about this, (even though they do care) while some others really do not care and preferred to stay single.
according to my observation, most of people who are single felt lonely and they are searching for someone to be their companion or in another words, SPECIAL BEST FRIEND. while most of those who are already in relationship are hoping to be single as in their view, single people are are happier, enjoying freedom and they do not have to be committed towards their partner.
as i can see, those who are still single or never have boyfriend/girlfriend, they tend to envy those who already married or in relationship. they felt empty in their heart and tend to feel sad when they are lonely.
the above are based on my observation, so my opinion is that appreciate every moment of your life, enjoy it to your heart content, and STAY HAPPY ALWAYS. most of people misunderstanding that if they have a sad life or lonely life, they would always praying and hoping someday someone special would enter their life and make them feel happy or feel content. i want to give my view that, how can you waste your life waiting for another people to give happiness to you.?? so here, please, do not waste your life waiting, but instead create your own happiness and be independent.
for those who are single, you should enjoy your freedom first as for now you are not committed with anyone and you can do almost everything you wanted. sleep, watch dramas, be messy in your house and eat like u haven't seen food for ages without having to control anything. because once you are engaged with someone, you need to spend your time with him, on your work or education, to your family members and to your children (if you have). what i mean here, you definitely no longer have time for yourself so why don't you just try to take a positive side that being single is awesome?
you should.
also for a single people on here, whatever happened, please do not beg for any attention or love from anyone just because you feel lonely. you must know that those people can easily take advantage on you. for those who does not care, just leave them, simply because you deserve better!
and for those who are already committed, usually you would be in either situation;
1) envying those who are single and hoping to gain more freedom and feel better if you do not have to be committed, or
2) you are a very jealous type of person and also want to make your lover yours and only.
in this condition, either one, i should tell that once you are confirmed to be wife/husband to your partner, of course you have no other choice than being committed in your relationship. sometimes you would feel stressed with your partner's jealousy however, as you know, they are being like that because they love you. the best option here is to have a slow talk with your partner not trying to avoid them or what. try to settle between you guys only and DO NOT ASK FOR OTHERS OPINION especially different gender than yours because you know, that is a starting point for you to break this relationship.
and if you are the jealous type, you need to know that being possessive is cute, but only to certain extend. too much of jealousy would destroy your relationship, so CONTROL.
last but not least, going back to our issue, which one do you think? being single or being in relationship is better??
as for me, both are great. if you know how to enjoy your life, then you can be happy. just appreciate everything you have and try to have a positive mind, then hell yeah, you got this my dear !
just do whatever makes you happy :)
hoping you would be blessed everyday.
Here I'm gonna write on one of most common problem faced by youngsters and also adult nowadays. some people may just say that they do not care about this, (even though they do care) while some others really do not care and preferred to stay single.
according to my observation, most of people who are single felt lonely and they are searching for someone to be their companion or in another words, SPECIAL BEST FRIEND. while most of those who are already in relationship are hoping to be single as in their view, single people are are happier, enjoying freedom and they do not have to be committed towards their partner.
as i can see, those who are still single or never have boyfriend/girlfriend, they tend to envy those who already married or in relationship. they felt empty in their heart and tend to feel sad when they are lonely.
the above are based on my observation, so my opinion is that appreciate every moment of your life, enjoy it to your heart content, and STAY HAPPY ALWAYS. most of people misunderstanding that if they have a sad life or lonely life, they would always praying and hoping someday someone special would enter their life and make them feel happy or feel content. i want to give my view that, how can you waste your life waiting for another people to give happiness to you.?? so here, please, do not waste your life waiting, but instead create your own happiness and be independent.
for those who are single, you should enjoy your freedom first as for now you are not committed with anyone and you can do almost everything you wanted. sleep, watch dramas, be messy in your house and eat like u haven't seen food for ages without having to control anything. because once you are engaged with someone, you need to spend your time with him, on your work or education, to your family members and to your children (if you have). what i mean here, you definitely no longer have time for yourself so why don't you just try to take a positive side that being single is awesome?
you should.
also for a single people on here, whatever happened, please do not beg for any attention or love from anyone just because you feel lonely. you must know that those people can easily take advantage on you. for those who does not care, just leave them, simply because you deserve better!
and for those who are already committed, usually you would be in either situation;
1) envying those who are single and hoping to gain more freedom and feel better if you do not have to be committed, or
2) you are a very jealous type of person and also want to make your lover yours and only.
in this condition, either one, i should tell that once you are confirmed to be wife/husband to your partner, of course you have no other choice than being committed in your relationship. sometimes you would feel stressed with your partner's jealousy however, as you know, they are being like that because they love you. the best option here is to have a slow talk with your partner not trying to avoid them or what. try to settle between you guys only and DO NOT ASK FOR OTHERS OPINION especially different gender than yours because you know, that is a starting point for you to break this relationship.
and if you are the jealous type, you need to know that being possessive is cute, but only to certain extend. too much of jealousy would destroy your relationship, so CONTROL.
last but not least, going back to our issue, which one do you think? being single or being in relationship is better??
as for me, both are great. if you know how to enjoy your life, then you can be happy. just appreciate everything you have and try to have a positive mind, then hell yeah, you got this my dear !
just do whatever makes you happy :)
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